It’s finally arrived!

No it’s not the latest package in the mail… no it’s definitely NOT a baby.  But rather the last day of school before Christmas break. 

For me, that means my kids will be here for almost a week.  Which means more to me than anything else that will transpire over the next week.  Well, I do look forward to Lori’s birthday… it’s on Christmas Eve.  What a day to have a birthday!  Who can compete with the birth of Jesus and Santa Claus?I guess we’ll have to celebrate it next month… that’s terrible I know.  We’ll have cake and sing… the gift will have to wait until January.

This is the toughest time of year for many!  And this year probably tops off as the toughest of a lifetime for even more.  I wish all the pressure that goes with the season would not be associated with it… We celebrate Christmas because of Jesus’ birth… the great joy that is associated with his life and the promise his life offers.

I’m thankful to celebrate His birth, to spend some time with my children, and Lori’s birthday!

Filed under: Christmas, Family, Making memories, Parenting, Random Thoughts

1/2 Birthdays…

I bet you only celebrate your birthday once a year!  Me too. But not my kids…

About 10 years ago or so Jacqueline started pointing out her 1/2 Birthdays.  She would turn 4 then 4 1/2 then 5 next would be 5 1/2 and so on… Well, this was a big deal for her.  So, I decided to make a big deal of it too.  I decided that on my children’s 1/2 Birthday we would go out to dinner.  Just me and the child celebrating the 1/2… a night out with Dad. 

A part of the  deal is that the child gets to pick the place to eat… anywhere!  Jacqueline’s first year was Red Lobster and got Crab Legs!  I believe she was 4 1/2 maybe 5 1/2… I’m sure she could tell me exactly.  Now it’s off to Dave and Buster’s for Jacqueline and Valerie.

Last week was Walker’s 6 1/2 year old birthday!  He wanted Chuck E. Cheese.  We had a blast!  I loved watching him run through those 80 Tokens!!  He ended up with 320 tickets to spend on prizes.  He would have come out better going somewhere else eating then letting me buy him something at Target for $10. 

But that would have spoiled the fun!  It really was fun.  We had an incredible time and wouldn’t have missed the moment for the world.  He’s a special kid… I love him so much!

Filed under: Birthday, Family, Love, Parenting, Traditions

“Do you think they can pause the movie?”

We went to the movies today.  Lori and Jacqueline watched Twilight.  I went with Valerie and Walker to see Bolt in 3D.  We were about 3/4 of the way through the movie when Walker asked, “Do you think they can pause the movie while I go to the bathroom?”  Another priceless moment of Walker’s long list of quotables.  He’s such a funny guy!

I really enjoyed watching this movie with the kids.  They are for sure what makes my life smile.  They each mean more to me than I could ever express in words.  The theatre here has stadiuim seating and the arms raise up so you can sit real close.  Valerie snuggled right under my arm.  It was wonderful and I treasure the memory of our time at the movies.

I bet God treasures the moments we sit close with Him.  When was the last time you took in the scenery with Him?  The Fall is my favorite time of year.  The leaves turning colors are so pretty.  Next time you have a minute alone somewhere and you can take in the changing of the season… snuggle in the Lord and thank him for the sight.

Filed under: Family, Making memories, Movies, Parenting, Quotes, Random Thoughts

How does God feel?

Parenting has got to be one of the hardest jobs on the planet.  Parenting has got to be one of the most joyful experiences on the planet.  At times it is a fine line between being the hardest and the most joyful experience.  It’s a job I’ve never regretted for one second.  I love my children with everything I am.  I know it’s tough at times for them to see it everyday especially since we don’t live on the same street anymore.  Although they don’t have the pleasure of seeing my love for them – they are loved – more than they can physically see and experience on a daily basis.

I was listening to a song by everybodyduck a few days ago. (Yes, the name of the band is all one big word! If you aren’t familiar with everybodyduck they are very good… Darin McWatters is a great lyricist). The feelings I am having today made me think of this song by everybodyduck entitled “8″.  The song talks about a boy at his own party and how lonely he feels… the song ends with the picture of God and all he gives and provides for us just to have us ignore him… thus his feelings of loneliness.

I wonder… how does God feel?

I had a situation with one of my children.  In my opinion it has been one of the first really trying situations I’ve had to face.  At the same time I look at this and realize they are growing up… and as a parent I must grow up.  I think I handled it pretty good… with much love, understanding, and grace.  I know I am limited when it comes to knowing all things.  I do the best I can.  I really respect, admire, cherish, love, trust, and desire to give my children all that I can give.  But do they really know how I feel about them?  After-all they don’t see me everyday.  Even when I have to administer some correction it’s not face to face… it’s over the phone.  So they don’t really get to see my heart – written all over my face.

As I’ve thought about this situation, I’ve thought about how God deals with me.  I don’t see Him.  I hear him but not audibly.  I experience Him but I don’t feel Him.  He gives me direction yet I don’t see Him point the way.  He corrects me and I experience the correction.  He provides for me and my family yet do I thank Him?  He’s there but do I take Him for granted?  I know He loves me!  How do I return the love?

How does God feel?

If you are unfamiliar with “8″ these are the words of Darin McWatters as recorded by everybodyduck, 1998:

Today’s the 8th anniversary of the day I was born
I’ve been alive exactly eight years today
My name is Joey and I can’t seem to find an excuse
Not to have a wild, raging party for my birthday

So I invited all my friends to come and started making plans
For the greatest party 3rd grade’s ever seen
All my closest friends and I would go to Skippy’s Pizza-Rama
They’ve got skeeball and these dancing chimpanzees
Every person in attendance would have candy all his own
And more pizza that an army could consume

I paid everyone’s admission and I thought my heart could burst
With excitement as we walked into the room

As I turned to see the joy on all the faces of my friends
I was shocked to see an empty space where they had all just been

I’m so alone and it’s by birthday
All by myself, what is the deal
I’m the only person sitting at a table set for 12
And I just can’t help but think that this could be
How God must feel

My best friend Andy’s sharing pizza that I bought with some dumb girl
And Steven Dobbs is playing air hockey with Jake
Kevin’s paying Jr. Higher’s with my tokens for his life
And I think Jeff is selling slices of my cake

Everywhere I look I see those who should be looking at me
It’s my birthday, after all, but they don’t care
I put so much into making this a party they would like
A guess I thought they’d have gratitude to spare
As I turned…

I’m so alone and I’m their savior
All by myself , what is the deal
I’m the only one who saved them from the sins that held them down
And I just can’t help but think that they don’t care
How I might feel

Filed under: Music, Parenting, Random Thoughts

Making the most of…

… every opportunity.

Sunday morning at The Church At Woodland, we had a time of worship which included the Lord’s Supper.  I like the way the Lord’s Supper was administered.

We were encouraged to partake as we felt led during the service.  My son, Walker, was sitting next to me.  And just like with a lot of things he had many questions.  This was a great opportunity for me to talk with him about what we were doing and why during the “music” portion of worship. 

I explained to him the purpose behind the bread and the wine (grape juice).  After I explained it to him he watched me eat and drink.  After I drank the juice he asked, “Was that gross?”  I had to go back and explain what I was drinking was not really Jesus’ blood and that the juice represents the blood he shed for us.

Filed under: Family, Parenting, Spiritual Growth

Teach your children…

In the New Living Translation, Proverbs 22:6 reads, “Teach your children to choose the right path, and when they are older, they will remain upon it.”

Yesterday was a difficult day out on the Bishop Compound… at least for our house.  I had a meeting yesterday that was very draining in so many ways.  Much time in prayer was spent by me and many others over this day.  I know that many more hours will be spent praying over the results from yesterday’s meeting.

As we were finishing up dinner, I received a phone call from Valerie’s Fast Pitch Softball Coach.  He informed me that she was selected to be on our County’s All-Star “A” team.  I was so excited to tell her the good news!  It was when she called her Mom that she was reminded of a trip already planned for vacation at the same time as the tournament.

After Valerie talked with her mom, we sat and talked.  As we were sitting at the table I said, “I tell you what…” and I reached out my hand to her. 

She immediately interrupted me as she took my hand and said, “I know what you are going to do.” 

I asked, “What?”

She responded, “Pray!”

And pray is what we did as we held hands. 

I’m blessed to have such a wonderful daughter who loves God.  I want more than anything for her to remain on the right path in life.  We talked about difficult things and decisions we all have to make in life.  She’s ready and willing to give up a trip to the beach in order to play in this tournament that she hopes will lead her to the State tournament. 

This is the first of many tough lessons for her to learn in trusting God and looking to Him as her Provider and (I would assume in the words of Jayme) looking to Him as her Decision Maker… Dream Giver… Tear Taker…

 

Filed under: Faith, Family, Parenting, Prayer

raising children

The greatest thing I could imagine would be for my children to grow up to intimately know Christ.  As teens and young adults I would love for them to know and hear God when He speaks to them.  There have been times in their young lives they have talked of the things of God and asked questions. 

If they grow up to be adults who are known as “good, church-going, people”- I’m not sure I would have succeeded.  My desire… my heart… and what I believe God desires is that we raise kids who will grow up to be passionate followers – living wrecklessly abandoned lives to Christ.  As a parent, I need to live my life in a way that sets the stage for this to happen.

We were sitting around the table last night over dinner.  Jacqueline was talking about the books she is reading.  Then Valerie mentioned, “I read my Bible this week.”  Much to my own disappointment I didn’t respond to it.  I didn’t say a word.  Then this morning I got up and walked back to her bedroom and both Valerie and Alexa were in their room reading their Bibles. Over breakfast again they talked about reading their Bibles until they fell asleep last night. 

I look at these two (10 and 9 year olds) and pray they continue to walk this way… that God will meet them and speak so they can recgonize His voice and respond in obedience – knowing and doing the will of God.

 

Filed under: Parenting, Quotes, Spiritual Growth

Out of a broken heart.

I’m so very tired tonight.  I’m literally worn out.  I got up this morning not feeling good and as the day has continued… my emotions are now running a bit thin.  Too many details as to why.  I was driving to a friends house to pick up something and just drove about 4-5 miles past my turn before I realized I had done that… I guess I needed the drive.

I’m being challenged with this question that keeps running through my head:  “Will our children have the faith?”  It seems like I had a book with that as the name while I was in college.  I never read it. But it is one that I have always held on to in order to read it someday.  I gave most of my books away recently…. so maybe I can borrow it back from Randy if he has it…  I may have it still in another box.  Who knows? Enough of that already.

I’m struggling with this… I’m struggling with the hypocrisy I see from time to time in “God’s Country”.  I heard about a friend today who renounced his Christian faith.  He now professes that he is an atheist.  I’m torn up over this.  Not really sure what to say.  He is someone that I pray for regularly.  Regularly just got turned up to daily.

I’m tired of mediocre Christianity.  I’m tired of the games so many people play.  Man, this life is not a game.  Our souls are not toys or pawns played out between God and Satan.  Our souls are alive and are destined to spend eternity with God.  But there is a choice that each human must make.  To trust Jesus or not.  We must quit playing games and take off our fake masks…. come on church we have got to get real!

Parents!  Listen… we have got to get real and be authentic with our lives.  Our children are watching… they need people they can look up to!  They need parents not just with good morals… they need parents who trust God and live by faith… living radical, experiential lives of faith… as I am reading McManus we need parents who will live the Barbarian Way!

God may I raise my children to have faith… a deep faith.  I pray that I can lead my children beyond a religion into a deep, meaningful, identified life with Christ.  God I ask for wisdom tonight.  Thanks!

Filed under: Parenting, Prayer, Spiritual Warfare, U2

Spiritual Parenting

I have been thinking about this lately.  It could be the series at church that is sparking the interest… could be that Chili burger from Ross’.  No.  It’s got to be the series….

I mentioned in my Men’s Journey Group the other day about spiritually leading our children and being the dad’s God intends for us to be.  There are also children out there who don’t have a spiritual leader in their home who loves Jesus.  I’ve been thinking about that.  I’ve been thinking about how important it is to be looking out for our children’s friends too. 

When your kids or your kids friends are 40 who is it that they are going to say spiritually mentored them?  Are you spiritually fit to lead your children or others? Is it you who will step up to the call?  I hope so!

Below are some statistics I received from Don Miller from the Belmount Foundation.

The Cost of Absent Fathers

• 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. (U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census)
• 75% of adolescents patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes. (Rainbows for all God’s Children)
• 70% of juveniles in state operated insitutions have no fathers. (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report)
• 85% of youth in prison had no fathers at home. (Fulton Co. Georgia jail population, Texas Dept. of Correction)
• 90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. (U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census)
• 71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (National Principal Association Report on the State of High Schools)

Filed under: Parenting, Spiritual Growth

Forever Young

I had an experience last night that has not let go. The experience is as fresh now as it was then. It’s a very personal experience but something that impacted me deeply. It’s my desire that this will impact you the way it has me.

Each Tuesday night I have the opportunity to spend time with my children. I went to their house to pick them up for dinner. Jacqueline is sick and stayed at home. Valerie with much enthusiasm was ready to go. She had her ball glove and softball ready to head to Dad’s house to play pitch as she gears up for a new season. Walker was also very playful as he was trying to hide from me in the yard as I awaited his arrival into the Jeep. I finally got him out of the bushes and into the back seat.

I had no idea that the events of the night would lead me to this. Lead me to be so very contemplative and introspective from the inside out.

We had a great time playing outside before dinner. Alexa my stepdaughter joined us as we played pitch outside as Lori prepared our dinner. (Lucas is sick too and was indoors).

After dinner I loaded Valerie and Walker back up and headed for their house to drop them off. We were in the driveway giving out hugs and kisses to each other. Walker held onto me so tight and didn’t want to let go. It made me tear up. I knelt down to return the embrace and I said, “You know buddy – you really make me smile!” He pushed back and looked at me and just gave me a big smile back. And all the way into the house he kept looking back with that same smile as Valerie hugged me with her cold hands and talked about getting stronger for softball.

I recognized as I was driving home that God wanted to use this tender moment. This moment so wrapped up in love. It was through this that I also began to experience God in a real and personal way.

As I drove home, I was listening to Rod Stewart’s, “Forever Young.” As I listened to it I thought about my children. I thought about all the times I have knelt down hugged, encouraged, cheered, had devotions at night, and loved on my children. I began to think about the time now spent apart due to the divorce. I thought about that separation from my children and how miserable it is. I thought about the love I have for them and how I desire to show it and give it to them physically everyday!

I began to think about God. As I thought about my relationship with God, God began to speak to me. I began to think about the times that I separated myself from Him. I thought about how He feels when I have done things and I have separated myself from Him. I began to think about how many people are now living separated from God. Those who have never decided to trust in Him. They are His creation living separated from God. Living apart from the love He so strongly desires to give.

I meet with a great group of guys each Wednesday morning. This morning Joel read a passage from Romans 8:31-39. I’ve listed part of those verses below. Once we give our lives to God in Jesus there is nothing that can separate us from His love. It is only us who push back from God. But even that can not separate us from God’s loving arms as they are always – always around us.

“I’m absolutely convinced that nothing – nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable – absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us” (The Message).

I always want to be with God the way my children were with me last night. I want to be returning the embrace back to my Heavenly Father. I always want to return back to God the love He gives me. I always want to look to God as Walker looked to me last night with a returned smile. I smile of love… I smile of thanksgiving… a smile of worship.

Here is the video to the song I mentioned earlier. Think of your relationship with your children. Think about other relationships you have. Think about God. Who is it that you are trusting to drive your family and those other relationships?

Filed under: Family, Music, Parenting, Small Group